Tiana - Travel Journal

July 22/23 - Travel to Shanghai
July 24 - Travel from Shanghai to Nanning
July 25 - Today we receive our daughter
July 26 - The official adoption ceremony and paperwork
July 27 - A visit to Tiana's home town
July 28 - Tour of Nanning
July 29 - Shopping and life as a family
July 30 - Travel to Beijing
July 31 - The Great Wall of China
August 1 – Medical Check-up and Tianamen Square
August 2 – The Summer Palace
August 3 – The Silk Market
August 4 – The Forbidden City
August 5 – Today we take Tiana home to Canada!!!

FRIDAY JULY 22 & SATURDAY JULY 23 - Travel to Shanghai

(Across the International Date Line and all....)

Our day started early on Friday morning with our good friend Reinier arriving to take us to the airport at 8:00 am. Not that I slept anyway. I was so excited that I tossed and turned most of the night.

The flight to Shanghai on Air Canada was LONG but uneventful. It was not until I got a glimpse of the coastline of Japan that it really sunk in that we in Asia and why we were here. I think that until that point the trip and the whole baby thing had been more a concept than a reality. Seen land suddenly made everything more real!

We were met at the airport and taken to a nice hotel in the heart of Shanghai. I won't delve into the details of their driving at this point, but for me it has been perhaps the most astonishing part of the trip. The combination of modern cars, buses, ancient trucks and then scooters and bicycles (which make up perhaps 50% of the traffic) is bizarre, and the way it all weaves into a harmonious flow it beyond my ability to grasp.

We arrived at our hotel about 4:00 in the afternoon local time and we were totally exhausted. We went out for a short walk to orient (or should I say Orient) ourselves. It was extremely hot and muggy and very foreign. There is always a certain vulnerability at first in any new place, especially when you not only do not speak the language, but you can't even read the characters. We had our first exposure to this when I tried to buy some water from a stall on the street. It was frustrating for both of us as I tried to communicate that it was water I wanted, not pop, or flavored water etc. What seemed like a simple transaction became confusion until I walked into the heart of the stall and pointed to what I wanted. Of course, there was not price tag on it, so then it was "How much should we be paying for this, anyway?"
Some money changed hands and, regardless of the fairness, both parties were happy and relieved!

We ended up back in our hotel quite soon, but not before we had viewed the amazing skyline of Shanghai. It is perhaps the most modern city on the mainland and bustling with activity. Population is 12M. I will try to upload a photo to the Gallery when we get decent internet access.

Marianna was not feeling very well and was not in an adventurous mood.
The travel had taken it's toll, but I suspect part of that was also the stress of realizing that within 48 hours she would be responsible for taking care of a brand new one year-old. Sure, I was involved, but I recognized that she was feeling a lot more pressure than me. I decided that my role was just to support her and make it easy for her to support the baby.

At any rate, instead of eating out we ate powerbars in the air conditioned comfort of our room and were in bed about 7:30 (4:30 in the morning Vancouver time as we are now 15 hours ahead of your time.) Of course that meant waking up early. I woke at 12:30 for a while, then 2:00 for several hours before dozing till 6:00. Marianna is a better sleeper than me, but both of us were wide awake at 6:00.

SUNDAY, JULY 24 - Travel from Shanghai to Nanning

Our room was on the 24th floor, so we were able to watch the city awaken. Even at 6:00 am on a Sunday morning the traffic - especially bicycles - was heavy. The smog is heavy, but still we could see a forest of high-rise apartments reaching for miles and miles. Amazing.

Our room price included breakfast. China's luxury hotels are famous for their breakfast buffets that include a western type breakfast as well as dim sum and other Chinese dishes. There we connected with several other members of our group who had arrived later at night than us and were looking even more like zombies than we were.

After breakfast we went with 2 other families to the market region of the city. The first stop was (drumroll please).... Starbucks, where one of the group just had to have her coffee. Those of us waiting outside were acosted by a middle aged Chinese man who wanted to chatter to us endlessly in English.

The market was jammed and just amazing. More of a vendors/knicknack market than produce and food - just one store filled with amazing stuff after another. Marianna and I end up on our own pretty quickly and browsed in the jewellry, trinkets, carvings, clothes etc. Quite an experience.
But by 10:00 am it was cooking hot and we did not last long. We walked back to the hotel and relaxed until noon when we met our guides in the lobby. By this time 4 families had joined and we were off to the airport to fly south to Nanning.

Flying on Air Eastern China is a bit different than Air Canada! The plane was totally packed, people were smoking in the washrooms and dinner consisted of a "box lunch" containing a rather dry bread roll, a piece of cake and some cookies. High carb diet - I guess they have never heard of the Atkins Diet!

Our flight to Nanning left at 3:00 pm and was about 2 hours.
Unfortunately it was mostly cloudy along the way, but I kept peering out the window and between cloud patches saw a totally beautiful land of forest covered hills/mountains, wide rivers, huge lakes and tons of small villages and with patchworked farms everywhere. This part of China is very beautiful!!!.

When we walked outside the airport the heat and humitidy hit us like a wall. Within minutes I was drenched with sweat. They told us it was only about 30 degrees and we were lucky as it had cooled off. Two days before it had been 38!

Our bus ride to our 5-star hotel in downtown Nanning was wonderful.
Way more bicycles and scooters here than Shanghai and we arrived at rush hour. I tried to get some video of it as our bus wove its way through the bicycles without slowing down. Wild!

As we entered our room at the hotel I had another pivotal moment about the reality of our journey. There, beside our beds, was a little crib - all ready and waiting for us to bring our child home. The enormity of what we were doing became even more real!

When we arrived at the hotel it was pretty well dinner time. By this time we had connected with about 5 families in our group. None of us were hungry. I guess that is not surprising, what with the heat, the time difference and the nervousness about receiving our children in less than 24 hours. Still, we wanted to be with each other and get connected plus we realized we needed to eat, so we gathered at the restaurant in the hotel for dinner. The food was excellent, but mostly it was just a chance to reassure Marianna and I that everyone else was as nervous as we were.
They were. That determined, we all ordered our individual comfort foods and headed off to bed.

We slept a little better Sunday night. I did not wake up till 4:00, and then managed to sleep again till 7:00. We were starting to adjust...

Breakfast was another buffet. But also another profound experience as there were several families in the restaurant from USA and they already had received their children 5 days before. It was definitely another step to making it real! They seemed to be doing okay, but at that point things seemed to become rather surreal for both Marianna and me and from that point on everything was a blur.

The first order of business after breakfast was to purchase a stroller. We had been advised not to bring one from Canada, just to purchase a cheap one here. We got together with 3 other families who wanted to go shopping and caught a cab to the Nanning Department Store.
(Others in our group went to WalMart, but that just did not feel right to us! We were seeking the authentic Chinese experience.)

The store was HUGE. About 8 floors, and I am sure the size of an entire mall at home. For example, one section was a shop the size of a typical Rogers Video at home. Yet the only thing it sold was cell phones, with literally thousands of models all on display. It was almost overwhelming.

Of couse we could not read the signs, and no one who worked there understood english, so it was an adventure even to find the baby department on the 4th floor.
Meanwhile, we were entertainment for the locals. To see 8 whities all wandering around is weird enough, but Peter is 6' 7", Jason is 6' 3" and has his arms and legs 100% covered with tatoos (he was wearing shorts) and then there was this white haired guy tagging along. It must have been quite a sight for the locals.

When we found the strollers the real fun began. They had about 6 - 8 different types, and we had to road test each around the store to check out the ride and figure out how they folded up. It was quite hilarious as we struggled to figure out how they folded down, opened up etc. It seems there is no shortage of staff in any area of China, and we had about 6 staff attempting to help us, none of whom spoke english. It was more like a comedy act than a shopping experience.

Eventually we all found the strollers we wanted after which we continued wandering around the store. Now the locals had the same weird troupe to watch except that all the men were dragging, wheeling or carrying an assortment of strollers. More entertainment for the locals and it was tons of fun for us and a welcome distraction from the tension and anxiety about to come in the afternoon when we were to receive our children.

MONDAY, JULY 25 - Today we receive our daughter

As we returned to the hotel the distraction of the shopping wore off and suddely everyone became quite introspective. The moment we would receive our children was now just 5 hours away.

Marianna and I returned to our room and spent from about 11:00 am till 2:30 watching the clock. We each were stressing out in our own ways and kept mostly to ourselves except for the occasional attempts to break the tension with comments like "Are you sure we want to do this?" and "Do you think it is too late to change our minds?" Of course the truth is that we would never change our minds in a million years. We have wanted a child since we first got together 6 years ago.
It is just that now it was really happening and we had to deal with the realities!

We were meeting in the lobby at 2:45 to go by bus to the location where we would get the children. At 2:30 it made sense for us to get ready to go. We got dressed and Marianna packed her first baby bag with diapers, wipes, clean clothes (we were told the orphanage may want the clothes they were wearing back), bottles of formula and all things I don't even know about. We had a brief moment of ceremony acknowledging that we would never be just the 2 of us again, and headed off to meet our group in the lobby.

The orphanage our children came from is about 2 hours away, so they were brought to Nanning and we were to meet them at the Center for Adoption Affairs office in Nanning - about a 15 minute bus ride away.
The tensions was tremendous and you could feel it as we all got on the bus -
8 families now assembled for the cumulation of their individual journeys through the adoption process. Our 2 guides Lu and Anna, hired by our agency in Vancouver, were wonderful but there was not much they could do at this point to ease the tension..

When we arrived at the Center for Adoption Affairs we piled off the bus and headed inside. Meanwhile, myself and another fellow were shooting video, and eveyone was taking pictures and dragging their optimistic little bags of diapers and baby goods with them. Each of us also carried our fears, hopes and dreams inside of us.

We were ushered into a small conference room with couches all around the walls. I know couches are deep, but we were all sitting on the front 2" of the seats, worrying and making conversation and jokes to ease the tension.

We were told the children had just had a meal and gotten changed nearby, and they would be arriving at the office shortly. Within a few minutes, we peeked into the hall and saw some babies being carried in, only to be told that these were not ours. More waiting, more tension, more jokes.

Our wait was actually short, but it seemed forever. We were taken to a small auditorium with a podium and no furniture and instructed to form two lines, standing facing the podium. We were briefed that the childern would be brought into one at a time and handed to the new parents. At this point the transaction was "children only". The bulk of the paperwork would wait till the next day. There was a rush of people swapping cameras with each other: "Will you take pictures for me when our baby comes?"

An official, a youthful, rather academic looking woman, came in and welcomed us. She gave us a short speech on the significance of what we were doing and we all had to promise that we would care for our children and never abandon or abuse them. Then, before we could even get our bearings, the babies started to arrive.

Tiana was the first to come in. She was totally asleep in the arms of her escort - limp like a rag doll. Marianna stepped forward to get her
- I was manning the video camera, capturing the moment while missing the experience. People were running all over taking photos and talking in English and Chinese. Suddenly Marianna was alone with Tiana and attention turned to the next child coming in.

It was pandemonium for about 5 minutes as more and more our group of 8 received their children. There were cameras everywhere. The English and Chinese was not drowned by the crying and screaming of babies.
Many of them were definitely not asleep! Within a few moments it was all over and there we were, standing around with our babies.

I looked around the room tp get my bearings. Marianna was off to the side holding and stroking Tiana who was still fast asleep. Some babies were screaming and pushing their adoptive mothers and fathers away.
Even though we had been told this would happen, it was heart-wrenching to see the looks on the faces of the babies and the mothers. Other babies were crying but allowing their new mothers to comfort them. The talking, crying and screaming plus the cameras and videos continued unabated.

Now we were asked to line up again - this time with our children - and the Director of the orphanage they had come from presented each family with a small gift bag. Marianna and I took our turn, and then scurried to the back of the crowd to see what was in it. The bag contained a small luck charm. More significantly it contained a photo album with a dozen or so photos of Tiana with her foster mother with who she had been living since January. Flipping through it quickly one thing became obvious. Her foster family totally adored her and treated her like a princess. There were pictures of her in a swimming pool, dressed up in all sorts of cute costumes and being held and loved by her foster mother. Not only that, but at the bottom of the bag were the two disposable cameras we had sent to the orphanage asking them to take picures of Tiana. Marianna grabbed them instantly to see if the pictures had been shot. Sure enough, both cameras were fully used.

At this point I felt a huge wave of emotion - sadness for the life Tiana was leaving behind, relief that she appeared healthy and well cared for, and huge gratitude towards those who had cared for her and obviously truly loved her. This was more than we had hoped for.

It got even better. We were told to go back to our waiting room as there were more children being turned over in the auditorium in a few mintes (6 different groups were handled that day).

When we got back there Director of the orphanage came over with us and we were allowed to ask any her questions we wanted about our specific children. The problem was, we were all overhelmed, distracted by the presence of our children and the incessant picture taking and screaming, and totally confused. Even though we had prepared questions, and no one really knew what to ask.
Besides, with all the babies screaming in the room, it was hard to hear what she said anyway.

But as I observed, one thing became very clear to me. The Director of the orphanage knew each of our childern and she had a special love for each one. It was so obvious that they were brought up with great love and care. Not only that, but they were all healthy and plump - not at all what we had feared. The children from many orphanages are sick, underdeveloped, malnourished and full of lice, scabies etc. These children were in great shape, and loved as well. What a wonderful gift!

Tiana continued to sleep until after we returned to the waiting area. She then gently and happily woke up and clung onto her new mother. By this time I was giving 100% of my attention to Marianna and Tiana and it was obvious from the start that there was a deep connection between them.

I stroked her and went to hold her, but she screamed and pushed me away. Amazingly I did not feel hurt - I just felt compassion for her and silently vowed to be as patient as necessary and to allow our bond to develop naturally.

We looked at the photos more closely and the Director told us about a few of the photos. Some show Tiana all dressed up and her hair done up in different ways. We discovered that she loves the water and can "swim". She also loves music. Apparently her foster father used to play the violin for her and she really loved that.

After things calmed down and the Director left, we boarded the bus to return to the hotel, our families complete. Tiana still would not allow me to hold her or touch her for the rest of the day, so I applied myself to helping Marianna in the daunting task of dealing with the baby.

When we returned to the hotel room we had a brand new experience.
Suddenly we were in a quiet environment, totally alone with our new daughter. We put her on the bed, gave her every toy we'd brought, and waited to see what would happen.

At first she wanted Marianna to pick her up and hold her, but slowly she started taking in her surroundings and playing with the toys.
Actually, she did not like the toys much, but the empty water bottles, hotel room keys and empty boxes were an instant hit. She started taking everything apart, trying to open the boxes and bottles etc.
However, whenever I got too close or tried to play with her she freaked out, so I kept my distance. I was, however, totally enjoying watching the mother and daughter connection that was developing.

Marianna gave her a bath and Tiana splashed around and had a good time. Again, it was not the toys, but the shampoo bottle, rinse cup etc that were the highlights for her.

When Marianna dried her and tried to put on a diaper and a new outfit the trouble began. It was obvious that she does not like to be restricted or contained in any way (hmmm - sounding like her new mother already) and she squiggled, twisted, squirmed and squealed making getting a diaper and clothes on her a major feat. (It is Friday as I write this, and this part has not changed since Tuesday!)

We ordered some food up to the room and Marianna attempted to eat while holding and feeding the baby. I was not allowed to come close.
Welcome to motherhood, Marianna!

At 7:00 pm our group met in a conference room to handle some of the adoption paperwork. All the other families were having their own, different experiences with their children, but one thing was clear.
Everyone was tired and very stressed. Two of the other fathers were having the same experience as me in that their children screamed when they got close.

I went through the paperwork while Marianna tended to Tiana, who spent some time playing with the other children on the floor. There was a big stack of documents in Chinese and English that I had to go through to ensure it was 100% accurate. Marianna and I signed in about a dozen different places. Then, in a huge leap of faith, Tiana approved us as her parents by placiing her footprint on the documents to make them official. She then clung to her new mother as we walked back to the hotel room. It was finally time for bed!

The obligatory struggle ensued as Marianna changed her diaper and put her into her sleeper. But there was not much reserve left after her long day, and within a few minutes our new daughter was fast asleep in her mother's arms.

It had been a great day. Of course after just 8 hours as a mum, Marianna was still pretty tentative about the feeding, dressing, diaper changing etc. and Tiana was capitalizing on that. And it probably was not helping that I could not get involved and was "coaching" her from the sidelines. Old habits die hard!

By the end of the evening Marianna and I already realized that Tiana is a true gift. She is totally beautiful and everyone from the orhpanage staff to the other parents dotes over her and comments on how beautiful she is.

She is also a real trooper. She knows exactly what she wants and lets us know clearly, however she is not a drama queen. Although she protests when she is does not like what is going on, she stops resisting in situations where she realizes she can't win. In situations where she can get her own way, however, she is relentless.

None of our fears have come true. Our suitcase full of "in case"
medications remains unused so far. Let's hope it stays that way.

TUESDAY, JULY 26 - The official adoption ceremony and paperwork

Marianna and I had feared that Tiana might not sleep and we would become sleep deprived parents overnight. However, that was not the case. Tiana awoke once at about 3:00 and it took us an hour to figure out exactly what she wanted and to get her back to sleep. But other than that, she slept solidly until 7:00 and then complained when we woke her up. Apparently she loves her sleep - another trait she shares with her mother.

Tuesday was to be a big day for completing the adoption paperwork. But first the squirmy diaper change and down for breakfast...

The breakfast buffet restaurant was chaos. Apparently there were at least 2 other groups, one from New Zealand and one from USA that had received their children the day before, too. As a result, there were screaming babies everywhere and it was high chair city. It was quite a sight to behold and all the staff seemed to be experiencing a combination of horror and entertainment as food flew in all directions (very little of it going into the children.)

Initially unsure of what I should do since Tiana would not let me close, I finally found my role. First I got food for her - fruit, cheerios and a rice cereal/soup called congee. Then, while Marianna tried to get her to eat, I went back to the buffet to fill Marianna's order. That done, I was finally able to get my breakfast.

The breakfast experience was mixed. The good news is that Tiana ate everything we offered her and has yet to turn anything away. The bad news is that she was so enthralled with her surroundings that it was hard to get her to eat. Plus, Marianna and I were both very tentative in feeding her, avoiding making a mess or "hurting her" by feeding her too much at once. After all, she only has 6 teeth.

This tentativeness diminished as we saw some of the more experienced mothers feeding their children. I had cut a slice off a banana, then cut that into 4 small pieces and I put it on a spoon and fed it to her. Nearby I saw a mother pull back the peel on a banana and give the whole thing to her child who stuck it in her mouth. Not a pretty sight with banana going everywhere, but much more efficient that what we were doing. I soon realized that if we kept things clean and tidy Tiana would starve to death.

After breakfast our group got on the bus to go to the China Center For Adoption again to complete the official adoption ceremony and notarization. There, each family went, one at a time, into the officials office where we again promised to accept Tiana as our daugher and never abuse or abandon her.

As we were leaving, Marianna and I both had seperate pivotal experiences. Mine tool place when Marianna simply did not have enough hands to do what she was doing and as we were waiting for the elevator she handed Tiana to me. We both held our breath, but Tiana relaxed into my arms very comfortably. My first daddy moment. Marianna grabbed the camera and captured the moment.

Marianna's moment was a bit different. Our group was headed back to the bus, and as I handed Tiana back to Marianna I smelled a distinct odour coming from her diapers. (Now let me make myself perfectly clear. I did not smell the odor until after I handed her over, so don't accuse me of doing a "man" thing and getting rid of the problem!)

Everyone was rushing towards the bus and suddenly Marianna had to deal with her first poopey diaper. I did my best to support her, but she was on her own in the washroom of the building feeing the time pressure and scrambling frantically to do it right. Of course Tiana, who hates to be held down or controlled, squirmed, screamed and made an already stressful situation even worse. Another motherhood initiation!

Our next stop was the notary's office where the seals were applied to the adoption paperwork and Tiana's passport application was notarized.
This was uneventful except that we had to, once again, promise not to abandon or abuse her before we signed in front of the notary. It was an easy promise to make as we were already falling in love with her. I also noticed that in offices in China, air condidioning is not used to keep a room cool. It is just used to take the edge off the heat. It was about 35C outside (95F) and the office was air conditioned yet almost as hot.

By the time we all got back on the bus we were frying and it was not yet noon. Thank heavens the bus was cool, and our duties for the day were complete. We headed back to the hotel for an afternoon of freedom. Tiana has a fascination with looking out the window on the bus, so I sat next to the window to see if she would get closer to me.
She was a bit cautious and unsure about me, but that did not stop her climbing all over me like a jungle gym as she looked out the window and visited the people in the seat behind and in front. Talk about an active, curious child!

Our afternoon was really our first real family time together. After a 2 hour nap (thank heavens children take naps so we parents can sleep too!) we pulled out Tiana's new bathing suit and put it on her. (No need to tell you about the fight - you are safe to assume it happens every time we dress or change her.) The suit fitted well, as have all of the outfits that Marianna brought with her. (A moment of appreciate and gratitude here for the hard work and organizing that Marianna did in getting together a full suitcase of clothes and baby necessities while I was at my desk at home.)

Next stop - the swimming pool. The heat hit us like a blast furnace as we went out to the pool. Fortunately, it was late afternnon and there was shade around the pool. Tiana took to the water immediately, as we expected she would. She even allowed me to tow her around while Marianna was a good 30' away. Thing were improving!

We had dinner with others in our group at the Cantonese restaurant inside the hotel. Already the high chairs, flying food and Marianna not having a moment to eat herself are part of the routine. Everyone in the group seems to be doing well.

The evening was a quiet one. Tiana tore apart our hotel room (by now totally expected). At one point she climbed completely inside the cabinet under the TV searching out some hidden treasure. She is like the energizer bunny - she just never stops unless she is asleep! And she is as sharp as they come. If I have something in my hand I do not want her to have, you can be sure she will go for it. Her eyes fixate on it, and whe watches it intently and will note where I put it. Then, as soon as I turn my back, she makes a break for it - climbing or doing whatever is required to get it.

As bed time approached we discovered another one of her hidden characteristics. Even after you give her a bottle, the more tired she is the more wound up and energized she gets. She fights to keep her eyes open, her head will nod, then she is right back at it. This went on for at least an hour until she finally crashed and Marianna and I got some time to ourselves.

Another great day. And tomorrow is a big one as we have a bus rented for 9:00 to take us to the town where the orphanage where all the children in our group came from is located.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 27 - A visit to Tiana's home town

Wednesday was planned to be a long day, but ended up being even longer than expected. The city of Guigang, where the orphanage our daughters came from is located, is about 2.5 hours from Nanning. We all wanted to go there - not to see the orphanage, which was not allowed, but to view our children's "finding place" - the spot where they were found abandoned.

I had been instrumental in making this trip happen because I knew how important it would be later in Tiana's life. My 45 year old sister, who was adopted into our family from Hong Kong has been struggling to come to peace with her own past, and the lack of information about her background experiences has left big holes for her. If we were ever going to gather data about Tiana's background, now was the time.

Our group boarded the bus for Guigang at about 9:00. It was sunny and forcast to go to at least 38C (over 100F). At first the bus weaved in and out through the cars, scooters, bicycles and pedestrians of rush hour, but soon we were clear of the city and in the open countryside.
It was so beautiful, with rolling hills, lots of green fields and forested areas and many lakes and rivers. The farming is intense, and we saw hundreds of people working in the fields using water buffalo and cows to pull their plows.

We were on a beautiful freeway, but saw other vehicles only occasionally - mostly ancient, overloaded trucks and farm vehicles.
This was contrasted by the odd car that blasted by. Strangely it is not unusual to see a Lexus or other luxury car on the highways.

We'd been travelling for about 2 hours when suddenly the temperature in the bus rose dramatically and it was obvious the air conditioning had stopped working. This was a serious issue since we had 7 babies on board. The driver stopped and peered under the hood for a while before announcing to our guide that there was nothing he could do to fix it.
Ever cooperative, we opened the windows. Our guide did, however, jump on her cell phone (EVERYONE has one!) and demand that the bus company send us a new bus for the return journey.

We were about 30 minutes from Guigang when we stopped at a toll booth.
The bus coughed and died, never to start again. So now we were stranded outside our bus on the burning hot pavement holding our babies while our guide, the driver, toll booth officials and highway patrol tried to figure out what to do with us. The heat was unbelievable, but I took advantage of the moment to take some photos of a nearby farm.

Fate was on our side and Chinese hospitality and bureacracy suddenly kicked into gear. The highway patrol dispatched a bus from Guigang to resuce us and it arrived in less than half an hour. Meanwhile, our attractive female guide had been chatting up a police officer and before we knew it he offered to escort us to the 7 seperate "finding places" we were looking for. This was a dream come true, as Guigang is a large city (perhaps 3 - 400,000) and we had no idea how to find all the places on our list.

We piled into the new bus (thanfully very cool) and were given a ride into town. By now the locals had taken our well-being into their hands, and we were delivered to a local restaurant where we were treated like royalty. The lunch was the best Cantonese food I have ever tasted - the vegetables so fresh and every dish absolutely delicious. There was lots of food for the babies and the staff made a fuss over them as we dropped food on the floor, the tables, in people's hair and generally made a mess.We ate well and had tons of food left over. Then we got the bill - a mere $4 each!

By the time we finished lunch the replacement bus had arrived and we began the task of finding and visiting all the "finding places." Our friendly policeman happily put our guide into the front seat of his cruiser, and the bus followed him around town. All was well again. We were cool, the babies were fed and having afternoon naps and the policeman was charming our guide.

Visiting the "finding places" turned out to be extremely emotional - not for the children, of course, but for us parents. Thankfully the spots were described in detail by the police at the time of abandonment which made finding them simple, but still very time consuming. As we arrived at one, the parents and baby would get out along with the chosen few who were asked to take pictures on their cameras. I found myself overwhelmed with sadness about the pain the parents must have experienced to leave their daughters. It was impossible to visit the site and not break down into tears. Even those remaining on the bus were deeply touched each time.

It took a long time to visit each one as we criss-crossed the town going from the old and poor sections to the newer ones. We were all getting hot and very tired, but everyone knew it was an important task and no one, not even the babies, complained.

Tiana's site was the last one we visited, and by now it was almost 5:00. She was left in the waiting room of a middle-classed hospital, and Marianna and I felt very touched and very close as we held our child tight in our arms in the location where she had been left less than a year before. Leaving her at the hospital ensured that she would be well cared for, and I felt a sense of gratitude that whoever left her (possibly her mother or perhaps grandmother or care giver) had taken care of her in this way. I wished her mother could know that she was being well cared for and would have a good life and be loved in Canada.

The effort of the day created a sense of bonding, and whatever walls had been up between Tiana and I started to crumble. On the way home on the bus she climbed on me as if I was a climbing gym, something she never would have done 24 hours earlier. We arrived back in Nanning late and tired, but I had the sense of satisfaction that the family I have wanted for so long was becoming a reality. Altough we had been together just two days, dealing with the challenges of being parents was already starting to become somewhat of a routine for us. Sure, the changing diapers, feeding her, getting her to sleep and all of that will go on for years, but our "diving in the deep end" initiation period was mostly behind us.

THURSDAY, JULY 28 - Tour of Nanning

By this point so much had happened in such a short time that it was all starting to blur together. Although spending two solid weeks in a foreign country as new parents seemed like a bizarre idea at first, I was starting to see some of the benefits in terms of becoming a bonded family. New experiences continued to unfold for Marianna and myself as well as for Tiana. We began getting to know each other at a deeper level. But the sense of new discovery and the exhileration of becoming a family was starting to wear off. Now being a family was taken more in stride.

Thursday was another full day. Our group was taken on a tour of Nanning which proved to be extremely interesting. Our guide, a man in early 50's, spoke excellent english and had travelled extensively in the USA. Yet he had grown up in Nanning and the Cultural Revolution began when he was about 7 years old. He showed us places where as a boy he had seen hundreds of people lying dead in the streets and enthralled us with stories of the difficult transition China has made.
He was certainly not one to toe the party line, and we got a glimpse of some of his underlying thoughts, emotions and thoughts as the day went by.

First he took us to an old and extremely poor village outside the city where we were invited to go inside the people's homes and walk through the village. It was quite the experience, especially in contrast with the "New China" of neon signs, fancy cars and high fashion. The weather was unbelievably hot, reaching in excess of 38C (over 100F) and just walking around the village was exhausting.

We drove back to the city for the obligatory lunch feast at a dumpling restaurant. (We have eaten SO well, and simultaneously entertained and horrified the staff at most restaurants we have visited with our requests for 8 high chairs and baby food, and with the devastation we have left behind of food spilled on the floor and tables by the neophite parents attempting to feed their children. The babies themselves, meanwhile, are masters at grabbiing anything in sight and either breaking it, upsetting it or poking someone in the eye with it.
The word "chaos" was invented for scenes like these!)

The tour continued in the afternoon a visit to some places where the old city and the new city are colliding. It was so hot that getting out of the air conditioned bus was literally like walking into a sauna - with the same results in terms of sweat produced, too. Even Tiana was finding it very hot, and she is a local girl. We were all glad to get back to the hotel mid-afternoon at which point I jumped straight into the shower to cool off.

It was this afternoon that we began to have our first major challenge wit Tiana. Her previously regular baby routine of playing, eating and sleeping was so off track at this point that she became difficult to feed and would simply not go to sleep no matter how tired she was. We spend almost two hours trying to get her to nap to no avail. Instead she just became hyper and jumped up and down, played agressively with her toys and twisted and cried whenever we tried to soothe or hold her. Finally, in desparation, I remembered that she usually slept when we took her out in the stroller, so I took her for a long walk over the bumpy sidewalks and drivewaysnearby. It was cooler by now and the bumping seemed to relax her. She began to nod off, fighting it as long as she could but eventually passing out in the stroller whereupon I returned triumphantly to the hotel room to turn her over to a relieved Marianna.

FRIDAY, JULY 29 - Shopping and life as a family

Finally we had a free day and a chance to relax and sleep in. Tiana loves sleeping (once we get her down World War 3 would not wake her
up) and she slept in till after 8:00 at which point we lazed around before going down for breakfast.

We had just two priorities for the day - buy some shoes for Tiana and spend some time in the pool. It was a bit cooler this day (probably only about 35C) and we decided to walk to the department store. Tiana went to sleep in the stroller on the way, reinforcing my theory that this was the way to get her to go to sleep.

When we returned from the store after a successful shopping spree Tiana again would not go to sleep and bounced around building up steam for over an hour before I plunked her in the stroller and got her out like a light within 15 minutes. I was becoming a legend!

When she woke up we had a nice swim in the pool. We found a life-ring in the pool and put her in the middle with her arms and head hanging over the front. In that position I towed her around the pool and she never seemed to tire of it. However, there was work to do as we had to pack that night as we checking out and off to our next destination the next morning.

SATURDAY, JULY 30 - Travel to Beijing

This was the day of Tiana's first airplane ride, a 3 hour flight to Beijing. Having done pages and pages of paperwork in Nanning (we now had her officially notarize adoption papers in our possession and Tiana even had her own Chinese passport), it was time to go to the Canadian Embassy in Beijing to get the immigration side of things handled.

The flight was a challenge. First, we sat at the airport for 3 hours before the flight while the authorities decided whether to let us on.
The issue was that the plane was totally packed, and with the babies included the number of bodies on board exceeded the number of oxygen masks available. I was not very optomistic, because in Canada there is no way this situation would have been allowed. But, thanks to the long and hard negotiating of our guide Anna we were eventually allowed on the plane. By this time the plane was fully loaded and all the overhead bins were full so we had to stuff our (considerable) hand luggage under our seats virtually eliminating any leg room we might have had.

After we took off the fun and games started. Tiana was due for a nap but instead went into her hyperactivity mode and began bouncing up and down on our laps. I was sandwiched in the center seat between two mothers with babies and Tiana was going a million miles an hour. She smacked the woman in front on the head repeatedly (thankfully one of our group), turned around and engaged the people in the row behind, looked out the window and ran back and forth across Marianna and I relentlessly. This continued for almost the entire 3 hour flight, and it was only when we approached Beijing that she calmed down and eventually crashed into a deep sleep.

Thankfully the bus ride to our hotel was more relaxing, but by the time we got settled into our room and oriented ourselves it was well into the evening. Now came the challenge of finding dinner. I was getting tired of using room service, but it was also a preferred option because Tiana gets so stimulated and distracted by her surroundings in a restaurant that she won't eat. We finally decided to eat at the restaurant in the hotel, which was quiet and almost empty.

We soon discovered that Beijing is very different than Nanning. The prices in the "tourist places" (our hotel included) were very high, even by Canadian standards. China has caught on to capitalism remarkably quickly!

When it was bedtime for Tiana, the now familiar routine ensued. She simply would not go to sleep and became increasingly wound up. Again I got to show my stuff as I loaded her into the stroller for a late night walk around Beijing, giving Marianna some welcome quiet time.
Once again my technique succeeded and I returned with her fast asleep within a short time.

SUNDAY, JULY 31 - The Great Wall of China

One of the challenges of travelling with a group like we are is that there seems to be a lack of free time. The agency organizing our travel obviously wanted us to have a experience of China in addition to bringing home our children. So, our first full day in Beijing was to be spent on a tour to the Great Wall of China.

Our bus left at 10:00 which gave us ample time in the morning to get the baby bag packed with diapers, formula, thermoses of hot water, bottles of cold water and all the other baby paraphanalia. But this time we had become experts (okay - Marianna had become an expert, I wouldn't have a clue what to bring).

Thankfully, the temperature in Beijing was much cooler, probably only about 30C (87F) and we were enjoying the contrast from Nanning. In some ways the Great Wall is a typical tourist trap, but it is also an awesome sight and I found the scope and history involved very compelling. Of course, carrying Tiana up several hunded stairs to the first (obligatory!) tower was no easy task, but there are some jobs that the man of the family simply must do and this was one of them.
For those who are familiar with the Grouse Grind hike, just imagine climbing up for 20 minutes carrying a squirmy 20 pound weight plus various cameras, equipment etc and you will get the idea.

The Great Wall trip was a great success and we returned reasonably early. However, Marianna and I were very out of sorts in our new surroundings in downtown Beijing and again chose the room service option for dinner. After that we loaded Tiana in the stroller about 8:00 and walked into the famous shopping area of Wang Fu Jung street which is close to the hotel. We felt blessed when Tiana fell asleep, and we even stopped for a relaxing cup of tea and dessert en route.
However, our joy was shortlived when we arrived back at our hotel about 10:00 only to have Tiana wake up and be as bright and cheerful as if it was morning. She bounced and played energetically while Marianna and I were wanting to wind down. It was almost midnight by the time she finally settled down.

Much as this travelling has been fun and our group is getting along well, Marianna and I are now counting the minutes until we get on the plane next Friday and return to Canada. We are travel weary. Our clothes are grungy, our new hotel room is already trashed, strewn with baby clothes, travel items, shopping, paperwork, laundry drying and much more. Tomorrow, in our last step in the beaurocratic process, we must take Tiana for a medical examination. Once that is done and the results submitted to the Canadian Embassy our paperwork should be completed.

MONDAY, AUGUST 1 – Medical Check-up and Tianamen Square

Okay, the truth. This is being written after our return to Canada. Between the distractions of enjoying/caring for Tiania, fulfilling the paperwork requirements and attempting to make the most of our time in Beijing, keeping the journal up to date fell by the wayside. However, I want to complete it for 3 reasons: 1) I want to record what happened for my own enjoyment when I am old and grey (actually, I am already grey, but you know what I mean; 2) I want readers who have persevered this long experience some sense of closure. That seems only fair! 3) I’d like to save this to give to Tiana when she grows up and starts wondering what ever happened when she was one year old that led her to Canada. So, here goes…

The medical checkup on Monday morning was relatively uneventful. I think we caught the medical facilities a bit off guard. When 8 families and 9 babies descend on a small walk-in clinic at one time I can assure you that chaos ensues! No one died and nothing was broken but staff will certainly not forget our visit for some time. Tiana was fine with having the two duty nurses measure and weigh her. They chatted away at her in Mandarin and she was enthralled. Watching how she was comforted in this surrounding brought me some sadness, reminding me of how we have snatched Tiana from her familiar environment and taken her to a strange environment full of people speaking a language completely different from her own.

We returned to the hotel by noon, and most of our group made plans to go shopping and sightseeing in the afternoon. Marianna and I were more interested in getting Tiana to have a decent nap, so we stayed in our room. Thankfully the stroller technique was still effective. By now I had noticed that the bumpier the cracks in the sidewalk were the more soothing Tiana found the ride (and the quicker she went to sleep). So there I was, weaving down the nearby sidewalks seeking out every crack, bump and pothole . The locals may have thought I was crazy, but I knew what I was doing. She slept….

That evening we decided to visit Tianamen Square (no relation to Tiana). It was interesting to discover that the world’s largest open air square was not highlighted in any way on our local tourist map. Hmmm. I wonder why? Anyway, we knew it was fairly close to the hotel and it is hard to hide something so big, so after searching the map with a magnifying glass we found it and away we went. We soon found that distances were much greater than they appeared on the map, and we must have walked for close to an hour before we finally got there. By then it was dark and the square was beautifully lighted. It is indeed immense, and very impressive. There were probably a thousand people, mingling in groups, flying kites, taking pictures and walking around. In spite of the large number of people milling around the place seemed almost empty because of it’s size.

TUESDAY, AUGUST 2 – The Summer Palace

On Tuesday our group had our final tour organized tour. This one was to the Summer Palace, the area where the emperors went in the summer to get away from the heat of the city. This was our hottest day we experience in Beijing, and although we were surrounded by beautiful lakes, trees and hills it was just cooking on the stone and concrete pathways around the site. I thought it was crowded at the Great Wall, but it was even more packed at the Summer Palace. Hundreds of tour busses converging at once, emptying their wide-eyed, camera toting tourists. It was a sea of humanity, and between the hordes of people and the heat I can’t say we enjoyed it much. Tiana did not seem very impressed either although she liked the boat ride across the lake.

In the early afternoon we went for the obligatory group lunch that seems to be included with every tour. Lunch was buffet style and our group was assigned to a private dining room that was clearly too small for us. The air conditioner had obviously given up the ghost months ago and the room was stifling hot. The tables were jammed together and we all tripped over each others’ chairs, strollers and babies on our way to and from the buffet for very mediocre food. After eating so much great food in the south of China I found the food a let-down in Beijing.

It was on this afternoon that Marianna demonstrated her great skills as a diaper changer. We were among the first of our group to enter the dining room. When we first arrived she whipped out a baby change blanket, plopped Tiana on the floor among the tightly packed chairs and pulled off a wet diaper change before most of our group even entered the room. It happened so fast that I was in awe and even Tiana forgot to put up her usual screaming and twisting resistance.

It is a good thing she had been practicing, too. After lunch we went to a nearby pearl store (tourist trap, tourist trap) and Tiana upped the ante with a poopy diaper explosion. Without getting into the details I will just say that Marianna carted her off to the sink area of the washrooms, which was both crowded and totally public, and did a masterful job of dealing with a very messy situation. It was not a pretty process, butTiana was back within minutes wearing a change of clothes and smelling fresh as a daisy. Practice makes perfect!

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 3 – The Silk Market

Wednesday was a free day and we decided to try something new at breakfast. We’d found that at the breakfast buffet Tiana was constantly distracted by her surroundings and not at all interested in eating. Our strategy to combat this was for me to go down and eat my breakfast first while Marianna and Tiana stayed in the room. Then, the plan went, Marianna would go down and eat her breakfast and bring back some breakfast for Tiana. It seemed like such a good idea, but even when we brought her congee (rice cereal) and fruit to the room, Tiana still showed little interest in eating breakfast. From then on Marianna and I agreed that she is simply not a breakfast girl and we went back to taking her to the restaurant for breakfast each morning and allowing her to play with her food and eat very little.

One of the things we had been looking forward to was going to the Silk Market. This is a huge (5 floors) indoor market where they sell everything imaginable. Of course it is particularly famous for selling bootlegged knock-offs of designer products like Gucci, Ralph Lauren, Rolex etc. We had a long list of things we wanted, including some gifts, a new suitcase etc. The market was about a 15 minute cab ride away and we arrived mid-morning. We had been told to be very aggressive with our bargaining, offering perhaps 20% of the quoted price as an initial offer, and rising to not more than 30%. Neither Marianna or I enjoy bargaining, but we were prepared and ready to shop till we dropped.

At first we just walked around casing the place, pushing Tiana in her stroller. The vendors were very aggressive, but also pleasant to deal with. Unlike markets I have experienced in Morocco, Mexico etc I found them to be honest and straightforward with their negotiations. (Although they got a bit theatrical when it came down to the crunch: “No, that is too low. You try to put me out of business! This is top quality, not junk!” )

We spent most of the day there, cautious at first, then increasingly active. We got a name brand full-sized suitcase for about $30 Canadian, and Marianna got a North Face ski jacket for even less. We bought Polo shirts, jewelry, and gifts for people back home. Although this was not a trip for Tiana (you can’t see that much from down in a stroller) even she scored as Marianna bought her some beautiful traditional Chinese silk pant suits and dresses. By the time we returned to the hotel late in the afternoon we had our new suitcase packed with goodies and had only spent about $300. After we got back, Tiana took over the situation, opening everything, throwing it around and finally climbing into our new suitcase proudly claiming it as her new toy.

It was Wednesday night and some of our group members were leaving to fly home on Thursday morning. Our guide, Linda, came to our room in the afternoon and gave us the completed adoption documents from the Canadian Embassy. Hurray. We were past the last bureaucratic obstacle. Tiana was now officially approved for immigration into Canada!

Our adoption process finally complete it was time for celebration. What better way to do it than one more group meal – this time a traditional feast of Peking Duck. Onto the bus one last time (why is the “right” restaurant always a 20 minute bus ride from the hotel?) The restaurant certainly was first class and the food was excellent but very rich. Linda taught us how to make little wraps loading rice “tortillas” with duck, green onions and sauce. Delicious. The party did not last long, however. By now our entire group was worn out and ready to go home to Canada. We had a small celebration of completion including some good byes, (very brief) speeches, a presentation of flowers to Linda, plenty of photo taking, and of course the obligatory babies crying, throwing food etc.

THURSDAY, AUGUST 4 – The Forbidden City

Thursday was another free day and Marianna and I decided to visit the Forbidden City, the massive palace in the heart of Beijing where the Chinese Emperors lived. During the various dynasties for the past 600 years the area was closely guarded and no commoners were allowed within it’s gates. Perhaps that is the reason that everyone in China (and Japan, Korea, United States, Germany and everywhere else is so eager to see it.

The crowds at the Forbidden City made the Great Wall and the Summer Palace look empty. Everywhere I looked there was a sea of people. Many were in organized tours, masses of humanity attempting to follow their tour guide, sticking close together for fear of getting swept away by the crowd. There was virtually no shade and it was cooking hot. For the first time Marianna and I realized the wisdom of the Chinese habit of using an umbrella to shade them from the sun. Thankfully a generous gentleman offered his umbrella to shade Tiana and Marianna as we roasted for about 20 minutes standing in line to get a ticket.

Perhaps it was because the weather was so hot, it was so crowded and we were at the end of a long and arduous trip. At any rate, I was totally unimpressed with the Forbidden City. All of the buildings were roped off, so all you could do is peer inside from a distance. Even getting close enough to see inside at all involved considerable pushing, shoving and elbowing for position because it was so crowded. Marianna and I were on like zombies, caught up in the flow of the masses, going from one place to the next. We had an “audio guide” that told us the history and significance of each building, but somehow it did not matter. We were very happy to find the exit after about an hour and a half. The one attraction we missed was seeing the famous “Starbucks in the Forbidden City” but we were too tired to care. It was time to go back to the hotel for a cool shower, some lunch and a nap.

That evening we faced the usual challenge of “what do you want for dinner?” It was not just that we were tired of traditional Chinese food – although that was part of it. But the most frustrating part that during the entire trip, when we were on our own without a guide we found it very difficult to order the things we wanted due to the language barrier. (Keep in mind that most menus were in Chinese characters, and even when they had an English menus the descriptions were often wildly off the mark.) Time after time we ordered what we thought would be one thing only to be served something that in taste and look was completely different than what we expected. Tonight we were ready for some comfort food!

We loaded Tiana into her stroller and walked down the shopping street near the hotel searching for just the right thing. Finally we found an upscale food fair in an office building and we saw a Thai restaurant. Marianna and I both agreed instantly that this is what we were craving (actually I was just craving familiar food, but Thai would do the trick!) The food and atmosphere was exactly what we wanted and we all (including Tiana) enjoyed it thoroughly.

As we relaxed in the more familiar setting of Thai, I relaxed more than I had in weeks. Only then did I realize how much tension I was carrying all the time when we were out and about in Beijing. The pressure of being responsible for the safety of Marianna and our new baby in a totally foreign culture was creating an underlying pressure that I was carrying all the time. I was so looking forward to going home the next day!

FRIDAY, AUGUST 5 – Today we take Tiana home to Canada!!!

Although our trip to China had been a huge success, it had also been challenging. Today the Asian leg of our journey would come to an end and the next step in Tiana’s life would begin as she flew home to Vancouver to meet her new family and friends.

We began the day with the now familiar hotel buffet breakfast. The restaurant seemed strangely quiet, as since about half of our group had left on Thursday. The crying, feeding, and flying food associated with babies in high chairs was absent. I noticed that the dim sum, noodle dishes and other exotic food items I had found so interesting and tasty two weeks ago were of no interest to me today. Once again we were more in the mood for comfort food.

We had our bags packed early, leaving us several hours to wait before meeting the bus at noon. It was another beautiful day, so we took Tiana for one last stroll down the Mall near the hotel. We did a little shopping, but mostly we were bored and impatient to start the trip home.

Our last of many bus rides took us to the airport. The place was packed, and confusion reigned. What line should we stand in? What documents do we need? There were forms to fill out, checkpoints to visit and then a long, long lineup at the Air Canada counter. By now we were veterans of traveling with the baby. Marianna had no problem changing a diaper while we were in the lineup. One by one, the members of our group mixed bottles of formula as we moved through the line, and fed their babies lunch. It was all taken in stride.

At the Air Canada counter our paperwork was checked yet again and we received our boarding passes. Now there was only one hurdle between us and Canada. We were directed towards the Chinese immigration station for a final check of our documents.

Stereotypical immigration officers, stern and emotionless, manned the checkpoint. My heart was pounding. What if they told us we could not take Tiana with us?

Marianna held Tiana as I handed our two Canadian passports and Tiana’s red Chinese passport to the officer. Next I showed him the adoption certificate which he scrutinized closely. Then he took one more look at the passports, closed them, and handed them back to me with a nod. We were through!

For me, that was the moment our journey was complete. I walked away quickly before they could call us back. Suddenly a wave of emotion came over me. My eyes filled with tears of relief and gratitude. We were free to leave China with our new daughter. Going home! The family I had wanted so long and worked so hard to create was finally complete.

THE END